Memories of My Suffering

One morning, I realized the feeling of losing my grip. As if I was alone and the feeling of emptiness was there. I wanted to shout to the whole world, but I guess no one can ever understand and even listen to me. Except these three persons. Me, myself and I. Why is it that It was always we lose something everytime we chose something?? Is it called a sacrifice thing? or is it really the worth of everything?? -is to lose something. And then, because of this fact.. I'm nothing now..and I feel nothing.. And yeah.. I still survive, still living, still breathing.. but that was the damn thing I'm talking about!!! A life wothout a reason, living a life with emptiness. Its not that I wanted a perfect life.. Its not that I'm too much demanding about the life I wanted. Rather its a life without the ME! The me, the girl I am, the woman I am, the person I wanted to be, the feeling that I wanna feel, the words I wanna say, the actions I wanna do. I'm losing a freedom, and I felt like its forever jail that nobody can bailed me out.. except for the evrything that I've lose.
Sometimes I even ask myself why does it happen to me? why me? why do I feel this way? are all of these are worthy enough to save my manhood future? are all these things just a trials that test me?am i the most unfortunate person in the earth? is these my destiny?am i happy with eveything I had now which is really NOTHING!WORTHLESS!PAINFUL SACRIFICE!
Gosh! the hell I'm talking about right? I'm so freaking today and I just really dunnow what to do.. Is there someone whom can help me, not only listening to me? but Someone who can understand me, and most of all can feel me even without the fact of my emotions? wAAh!! i wanna die.. I felt like there will be no tommorrow for me,these is forever storm. these things happen are killing me softly.. and I can tell you.. I wanna give up and escape these fate. My Last day is soon... I hOpe they knew. I Hope i knew when would it be.I don't believe anymore in rainbows.. and guess what.. i dunnow how to trust and how to handle this faith falling in my hands.

But before anything else I wanna thank these people im talking about for everything that they have done.. huh?!! are they happy knowing that they're killing me softly! Well, I do hate them! Its hard to forgive people with their narrow mind! I hate them! and i really do.. Imagine I'm pretending all of these days in this fucking hell as I get along with them. they knew it., And theyr'e good at it! how could they be like that kind of creatures! This hell really burningl! I wish I wasn't born, I didn't came out and exist in this planet knowing that this would be my fate.