PART 1
The first time I runaway home was last year. It was the end of February of 2007. My parents really don’t want him for me. I was still studying that time and it’s very difficult for me to do it while all the time my heart and head aches thinking about how to win this game. So desperately, my parents decided to move in a quite far place where my boyfriend couldn’t find me. My dad even fetches me in going in and out the school. I don’t even have a cell phone and was totally grounded. In conclusion, I don’t have any freedom and all are set for restrictions. But sometimes parents are as stupid as what you might think; I was still studying so they didn’t know that my boyfriend who have a motor cycle that time still goes to my school just so we can see each other. Having this kind of situation is so nerve-racking that I must decide for two options: the fear of getting caught, and the fear of not seeing him anymore. Of course, I’m totally in love- that my parent doesn’t really understand. All I can do is be brave enough to face the consequences of my actions/decisions that just seeing him would make my day complete. If you remember my postings on “Memories of my Suffering” I know it’s quite confusing to understand - but all the things I written there only talks about when I was still burning in this fire.
Well, things come to worst scenario, I don’t want to entail every details. But the day came already when I cannot handle these things anymore. I should decide already for myself. I know I expect this already that in every battle there’s an end. But honestly the kind of battle I’m facing now doesn’t have a winning option. As if I was like to die or not to live. In this game I decided to leave my family. This decision is the hardest thing I’ve ever chose so far in my entire life. It’s not that I don’t love them- I really do, it’s just that when I lose the love of my life- I feel like there’s no more reason why I wanted to live, I will be so incomplete, and just thinking everyday waking up without him- feels like I’m slowly dying.
I live with them for about a month. Living with him and his family isn’t comfortable. Though yes, his family accepts and like me. They treat me special but of course, I still feel a bit awkward and uneasy in the new environment I am dealing with. All I need to do is just be helpful, patient and do at least simple things that I could return in their goodwill’s on me. I didn’t continue to take my finals in the school anymore. Nor I don’t have any money at all. I just stayed in the house with him. Living with him for a couple of week is such a happiest thing in my life. We were so in love with each other and we know it. It’s the happiest feeling in the world that before you shut your eyes to sleep you’re beside the man you love most, and tomorrow when you wake up he’s the first one your eyes will see. He’s now everything to me. I know. As days pass by, and as we live together we were now at level or stage of relationship when we were dealing more with our differences in our personalities. We were getting to know each others behavior than what we have known on each other before. I know there are some thing’s on me which he didn’t like and vice-versa, but acceptance and trust is a must so that we will not end up (especially me) falling from the peak of a mountain. We already experiencing not just a LQ (lovers quarrel) thing, but more so, like a husband and wife yelling and even hitting each other. Which shouldn't be. And that time I am staring to doubt and realized that the decision I made for myself was a stupidity. So long, my parents whom I know still loves me, look for me and they did talk to me and my bf. Apologizing on each parties as well as acceptance on things and mistakes done. I felt like swimming in cloud 9.. and its a start of a new life for me. BUT I WAS WRONG.
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