GUILT RIDDEN

yesterday me and mom talk about some crazy things...

and of course, conversations go simultaneously smooth.. from one topic to another..

then she advise me some sort of things.. about relationship..and marriage.

actually me and mom are close enough to talk about everything.. even the sensitive and much personal things.

well, I appreciate her for all those things I heard.. She really got point , she's old, matured, and already passed this things that I've been right now..so far..

But while mom says those things.. I feel like I am upset or some weird dissatisfying feeling.

NO! i am not annoyed at her having those kind of discussions.. but i was into downcast hangdog! rar! guilty again! NO WAY! hay... but this time its a different kind of guiltiness..

i feel like a lil ashamed on me.. pretending to her the opposite of whatI really think and feel.

whispering to myself : "How I wish I didn't talk to you a while ago.." (sigh!)- so that there will be an opened topic like this.

If you just see me right then.. you wouldn't even find any evidence of these "feeling like guilty again"

I even laugh with her!

after a few minutes I said that I already want to take a snooze.


AT THE BED:

I lie awake and my fragment contemplation still bothers me...

I AM THINKING OF A WAY OR SOMETHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT.

Its very difficult because I don't want to disappoint someone whom trusted me and hoping on what Ive compromise!

Its much harder because I also do wanted it too and I'm even the one who was excite about it!

actually, things Im trying to say here isn't the explicit of "ME and MAMITA's CONVERSATION"-that makes ME GUILT-RIDDEN HERE...

there was some part of what she told me about the blah stuff..
ahem! well.. for whoever reading this I know you are already confused on what i am talking about here..
anyways, going back to the same issue..

just please leave a comment on me..

in this bit of question..

"How do you know that HE/SHE was the ONE???

_______________________________________

But if I'm going to answer this..
SIMPLY>>>
When I already see myself growing OLD with HIM..

and honestly.. I do..

grr! my mom statements still recalls me.. and with an additional evoke of all NEGA NEGA NEGA things upon us..
hayyy-___________________________________

with another thought... (FOR A MOMENT)

sweet MOM-

it's my mom....

then its me.

PHILIPPINES VERSUS EMAXIMUS

“REAL WRITERS are born not by skills, they born out of struggle, not by objectives nor by vision but by CAUSE.” – Christine aka Sophia Reed


The PHILIPPINES battling towards deprivation

Today, our country Philippines is facing a deep struggle towards every Filipino citizen, whether rich o poor, famous or ordinary masses, we all feel and affected in this. What I am trying to say is the economic condition we are facing today. The value of everything that a man needs rises and also affects even things that aren’t essential at all. The rice consumption declined that makes its prices to increased, oil prices hike into unstoppable arises of cost that leads the transportation’s fee to boost up. Thus, the constant changes of increasing amount of these necessities affects the whole market of products and services that a Filipino needs to avail in order to survive. I am just one person in the population of the Philippines, age of 19, not a journalist though I’m used in writing anything under the sun, don’t have enough time to listen and watch news or even read newspapers but I’m a Filipino and I am aware and need to be aware to this struggling phase of our nation. Although I can say, I am working in a US based company which my salary is a dollar rate price; (which we all know that the exchange rate of peso to dollar is quite bigger) it’s not a good excuse for me to be satisfied and contented because it is at is and I still live with my parents who are employees and they receive an income wage enough for our family to survive. So for who should be blame for all of this state of the nation’s emergency? Is it the government officials or is it every Filipino living in this country? I can say that it is actually BOTH. Well, we might have different opinions, but personally this is my own point of view. Government officials are our leaders in this country. Since they were our leaders, they have the privileged and power not just to set rules for the peaceful environment but to provide and set answers and solutions to every problems our country faces. But it is not what few of our government officials doing; they are using their powers and privileged to corrupt the money of the Filipinos. They are greedy, and instead of being a model to the society they are the ones who make hidden illicit agendas for their own sake. They are filthy rich and they are not satisfied. They set rules and make justice but what they are doing are unlawful and illegal. Aside from that, not to mention how they guarantee and secure the masses with different types of vows and assurances that the Filipinos will have a chance to develop and produce a progress which is actually, opposite from these given words are the results . They are a selfish fakes. On the other side, Filipinos also add these economic problems by being mentally engross in finding opportunities abroad instead of using their skills, capabilities and good records of educational background and professionalism in their own country. Although in the half, I couldn’t blame these people. They decided to sacrifice to leave their own families and struggling of hard work serving the foreigners because our own country have limited and low income rates, less benefits and opportunities compared to other countries. In short, this is what we called “brain drain” where the Filipino abilities and knowledge are used by other nation instead of serving where they came from. All of this is because of going back to the truth that the Philippine economic stability never rises, instead its declining for consistent years. Even our Presidents in our country changes over a period of time, still we are in deep predicament of facing these realities. Now can you visualize the Philippines after 10 years and more? How about if we will remove the gluttonous government officials? Are there any good changes that will happen in our country?

“I am silent because I have a lot to say, and I am smart not because I know it but because I understand.” – Christine aka Sophia Reed

From the Philippine economic stability to the catch 22 of Emaximus jungle mania (My reviews from the Jungle Mania Part 1 and 2 and a commentary article of the current situation and society I belong)

The VERSUS
Reading my statements in the Philippines deprivation I perceived some points on comparable and fraternal twins views of current situation in our country and in this jungle. Philippines and emax have a lot of similarities in terms of the current dilemma we are facing. Although not actually entire of it and the same-same picture, but enough to be alter compared. As what I’ve mention the Philippine government officials makes the illicit agendas of making the country worst and affect the Filipino citizen, well is actually quite the same here. Our leaders who should set as a good example are the ones who are unjustifiable and make an awful corruption and hidden deceitful agendas for their own sake. They are using their powers and privileged to corrupt the money of the employees. They are greedy and like the government officials in the Philippines they are a selfish fakes.



On the other hand, the basis isn’t just actually occurred in our officials but also in the employees itself. Just like the Filipino citizens who are being “Mentally engrossed of being brain drain” here is with different kind of blend of a brain crisis. This is what we call “crab Mentality”. Some people here are sucha damn user friendly, plastics and Yes! These people love to pull down other people just to get what they want to achieve or to reach their burning peak- whether because of their own sake or because they don’t like you. They harm other people just to satisfy their needs. Not to mention how they gossip mongering and worst is backstabbing each others. If I understand why Filipinos mentality was being drained... here I couldn’t find any understanding why they need to be such a crab. As for now I couldn’t have an exact question except for this thing. Who will wins against the analogous assertions and certainty’s between the Philippines and the emaximus? Who should be blame? AND who could make the two different worlds mention be a BETTER PLACE??

“The world is a dangerous place to live not because of evil people who destroy it but because of people who don't do nothing about it.
-Albert Einsteine