GUILT RIDDEN

yesterday me and mom talk about some crazy things...

and of course, conversations go simultaneously smooth.. from one topic to another..

then she advise me some sort of things.. about relationship..and marriage.

actually me and mom are close enough to talk about everything.. even the sensitive and much personal things.

well, I appreciate her for all those things I heard.. She really got point , she's old, matured, and already passed this things that I've been right now..so far..

But while mom says those things.. I feel like I am upset or some weird dissatisfying feeling.

NO! i am not annoyed at her having those kind of discussions.. but i was into downcast hangdog! rar! guilty again! NO WAY! hay... but this time its a different kind of guiltiness..

i feel like a lil ashamed on me.. pretending to her the opposite of whatI really think and feel.

whispering to myself : "How I wish I didn't talk to you a while ago.." (sigh!)- so that there will be an opened topic like this.

If you just see me right then.. you wouldn't even find any evidence of these "feeling like guilty again"

I even laugh with her!

after a few minutes I said that I already want to take a snooze.


AT THE BED:

I lie awake and my fragment contemplation still bothers me...

I AM THINKING OF A WAY OR SOMETHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT.

Its very difficult because I don't want to disappoint someone whom trusted me and hoping on what Ive compromise!

Its much harder because I also do wanted it too and I'm even the one who was excite about it!

actually, things Im trying to say here isn't the explicit of "ME and MAMITA's CONVERSATION"-that makes ME GUILT-RIDDEN HERE...

there was some part of what she told me about the blah stuff..
ahem! well.. for whoever reading this I know you are already confused on what i am talking about here..
anyways, going back to the same issue..

just please leave a comment on me..

in this bit of question..

"How do you know that HE/SHE was the ONE???

_______________________________________

But if I'm going to answer this..
SIMPLY>>>
When I already see myself growing OLD with HIM..

and honestly.. I do..

grr! my mom statements still recalls me.. and with an additional evoke of all NEGA NEGA NEGA things upon us..
hayyy-___________________________________

with another thought... (FOR A MOMENT)

sweet MOM-

it's my mom....

then its me.